Four for One

I have never ridden a horse. It’s not like I don’t want to, I have never had the chance. This is kind of a rare thing for someone from the middle of Kansas. When I inform people of this fact, they generally look at me like I am a cross between a retarded lizard and cat litter. Is sitting on the back of a giant animal that big a freaking deal?

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I have never seen the movie “Finding Nemo”. It looks like a big piece of shit to me. I think I get the major plot points without even seeing the movie. Let me guess… Nemo get lost and they find him. WTF… With a title like that, why would anyone want to see this steamer? Captain Obvious must have been commissioned to think up that gem. No wonder our children no longer have an imagination.

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Have those venders in the middle of the mall ever sold anything? I have never even seen someone CLOSE to buying something from them. Maybe this is why they heckle you as you walk by… NO, I do not think your cheap, plastic, piece of shit airplane that comes back to you is cool. Pull that string and have it go straight up in the air all you want to, I am not going to talk to you… I hope these people work on commission.

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I wish I had a $2 bill right now. They are really interesting to look at. I used to collect them when I was a kid. One day that collection bit the dust when I bought a ton of Carlton Fisk baseball cards at “S&K Sports Cards and Collectables” (on Santa Fe). It was a good purchase, but I wish I could remember the look on the cashiers face when I handed her like $20 in two dollar bills.